Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum
balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any
other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000
calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an
"eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for
me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas.

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a
sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet
table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat -- have a slice of
each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin.
Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all costs. I mean, have
some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread
tips. Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

B_B

That sums it up! Now pass the egg nog!

the pie and rolls are MINE!!! dont even think about it!!

LOL
Thanks Boingo, that was great!

Hey, I'm getting ready to make some rice crispy treats.... anyone?

This is one of the best things about being borderline hyperactive. I eat as much and as often as I like and all it does is make me bounce off the walls!

1 carrot sticks are good for when you dont want to get your hands sticky, skewer the other food with the carrot stick, then discard. (no one else wants to skewer their food with your used carrot stick!)

2 I have a recipe for eggnog that takes less than ten minutes to make. I love eggnog, I use eggnog for sports drink when my favorite sports drink is not available. which brings us to:

3 Gravy, white, dark, MMMMmmmmmm. Now this is my favorite sports drink!

4. Mashed potatos are difficult to get out of a hydration pack, DO NOT PLACE THEM WITH YOUR RUNNING GRAVY IN THIS TYPE OF APARATIS!

5 agreed, do not have a snack before, but make sure to bring some goodies of your own in case theirs suck, bring enough to share if you are that kind of person...

6 Optimaly, you will not have to carry your own 10 pound plates and vats of eggnog. If this is the case, plan a fake injury so you can ask others to fetch and carry for you. A pair of crutches can be found at the local charity store for less than $20 and you will be able to use them for years! Buy an arm sling and one of those wrist imobalizer things and you are set to keep your place warm while the good host fetches and carrys for you.

7, 8, 9, 10 This is not about Christmas, you can do this year round. Invite yourself to the neighborhood childerens birthday party(s), learn which parks always have the big family bbq's. check the newspaper for family reunions, funerals, wedding receptions.

(the above has been slightly

exagerated, none of the above is actualy condoned, except, remember not to do the hydration pack mashed potatos thing.)

UntamedSub wrote:

Hey, I'm getting ready to make some rice crispy treats.... anyone?

Me!

And if we're dibbing the food, I call the stuffing (or dressing)!

Grizz, loved your post. Find reunions/parties, etc. for free food.

That was great.

B_B

Grizzled_Imposter wrote:

This is one of the best things about being borderline hyperactive. I eat as much and as often as I like and all it does is make me bounce off the walls!

All of us fat people hate you! (j/k)

I dont think I was born with a metabolism...or it's so low, its thru the floor.

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year; but really they should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas

>-

Grizzled_Imposter wrote:

4. Mashed potatos are difficult to get out of a hydration pack, DO NOT PLACE THEM WITH YOUR RUNNING GRAVY IN THIS TYPE OF APARATIS!

You sound as though you have experience with this. Care to share?

I prefer that people hate me for something that I cannot change. It is how I know if some one is rational or not!

ECHO:

you know that sealed used food container that sat in the back of your locker for half the year? Or maybe it was in the trunk of the car from the spring picknic?

I have to keep telling myself, unrefrigerated foood BAD!

Of course I usually still don't remember until I see the container. Thats why I like to eat at gaterings. I even cook for some of them.