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Wicked Sick!

Joined: 10/11/2005 21:28:38
Messages: 605

Semi-related, I wrote an essay about my experiences in the restaurant biz a few years back, where I worked for about 4 years. I worked in a nice italian deli, a very trendy california cuisine cafe and a fairly major, upscale restaurant chain, among others.

I saw some pretty messed up stuff, but mostly just stuff that would gross you out, not likely make you sick as a result of contamination.

Here's a good gross out story.

For those of you that don't know, a bus tub is where your plates, silverware and whatever leftover food you didn't eat goes when the waiter clears your table. Then a busboy takes the tub back to the dishwasher room and empties it. This process must be done by hand or broken dishes is the result. Moreover, restaurant work is extremely fast paced. We did not put on gloves for this kind of thing. Afterwards, a quick rinse under the faucet is all we'd have time for, and that's assuming I got splooge on my hands, otherwise we often didn't wash at all.

"Slooge" was our botfodder-like term for when ten different sauces from ten different plates (everything from lemon-olive oil to alfredo) mixed in a bus tub with gnawed buffalo wings, spent shrimp shells, leftover chocolate brownie ice cream desert, etc. etc. and etc. to make the ultimate frankenstein sauce. Chunky but smooth. Salty, yet sweet. Thick yet viscous. Very vomit-like and usually thousand-island colored. Splooge is the 5th element. An enigma wrapped in a paradox. Many meditate on the mysteries of splooge.

We routinely (like a dozen times per night) had to plunge into this stuff to seperate the dishes out for cleaning. It was a dirty job and I did it. Mind you, I was also the guy setting your table.

Did all this happen at the local cheapo sizzler? No, it was at a "nice" restaurant, about $30 - 60 per plate. Splooge happens, it's unavoidable. Either you make a friend of splooge or be devoured by it. Seriously, I'm not joking. Some people were so disgusted by the "behind the scenes" of the restaurant business that they simply quit.

All those "reality" shows about restaurants are fairy tales and way over-idealized for the camera. The truth is much more sploogier.

But one guy got a little too friendly and gollum-like with the muck (the precious!). There was a cocktail waiter who we often found taking a break in the stock room behind the bar and eating leftovers straight out of the bus tubs. Then he'd wipe his hands and go deliver the next round of drinks to his tables.



Wicked Sick!

Joined: 04/02/2005 23:06:12
Messages: 947
Location: My own little world

Vortex, that actually wasn't as bad as I was expecting. I should have asked before, but what's the weird crap in Twinkies?


The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO what a ride!"

My Awesome Skin

Joined: 04/25/2005 17:06:20
Messages: 344
Location: N.J.

UMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.. You may want to replace the word that you used to describe that mixture... Its a.... got another meaning too

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Killing Spree

Joined: 06/15/2006 11:28:24
Messages: 56
Location: Orlando, FL

I've got one, that all my family loves to do come Easter. I'm fairly certain this works with all marshmallows, but it's just too much fun to do with Peeps.

Take a Marshmallow Peep out of the wrapper or whatever protective container it might be in, and stick it in the microwave. My microwave which is higher wattage than most normal ones works on 50% power for 30 seconds. You'll see fun things!

(If all goes well, I promise your microwave will be unharmed)

If Tom has 5 Apples and Suzie has 7 apples, how tall is Matt? (There is a real answer to this question)

Extra Credit: How much wood can a peckled pepper picker chuck on a seashore?
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Wicked Sick!

Joined: 12/19/2004 20:59:52
Messages: 562

Boingo_Babe wrote:
Vortex, that actually wasn't as bad as I was expecting. I should have asked before, but what's the weird crap in Twinkies?


Actually I'm not sure what is in a twinkie. But it tastes sooo good I'm assuming it has something rather sordid inside.

And in response to the 'substance' that ends up in the bus tub, I have to say that is gross but I've known that sort of thing for a while. No way can you throw that many dishes people have used into the same container without getting a mess.

But hey, that is why we have white blood cells right? I say, let your immune system get some practice now and then. The '5 second rule' is actually good for you. If it weren't for things like this, we would die the first time we caught a serious flu or something.


Joined: 08/09/2006 19:15:01
Messages: 2
Location: Golden, CO

HEY, HEY, HEY, don't dis dew--I live on the stuff. It's my coffee......er, caffine, my waker upper, my eyeball cleaner, etc.

Killing Spree

Joined: 03/28/2006 13:56:37
Messages: 62
Location: The top of a snowy mountain

320 I know all to well what you are talking about with the mixture of sauces and everything else. I work in a resturant as well and see it all the time. I couldn't ever imagine "snacking" on it though....eww!

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Wicked Sick!
Joined: 03/08/2005 10:31:39
Messages: 490
Location: UT

Fire_eclipse wrote:
The next time you use Betty Crocker icing to frost your cake, or Kraft Cool Whip, remember the bright-white color doesn't come from vigorous whisking of cream and egg whites. Rather it comes from titanium dioxide, a mineral that is also used in house paints.

I knew there was a reason I liked it so much!.... Say Ma, this cake tastes like those paint chips I used to eat! MMMmm.....titanium...... blessed food of the gods.

Stephen: Stephen is my name. I'm the most wanted man on my island, except I'm not on my island, of course. More's the pity.
Hamish: "Your island"? You mean Ireland?
Stephen: Yeah. It's mine.
Hamish: You're a madman.
Stephen: I've come to the right place then!
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