Update on my Dad

Well, yesterday was interesting, to say the least. We got word that they were doing the paperwork in preparation for having Dad leave the hospital to come up to a nursing home here in Columbus. Being over 2.5 hours closer to my brother and myself, this means that we no longer have to take off a day to go visit, and can actually pop over to check up on him at lunch or in the evening to make sure he is getting the care he needs. He left the hospital down in Marietta around 3PM local, and we were there as he arrived and was being admitted. During transport, believe it or not, they hand bagged him for breathing for him, as the ambulance did not have an onboard ventilator!

(Geez! The VFD our scout troop was sponsored by had an onboard ventilator back around 20 years ago!!!) But he arrived safe and well, if not exhausted. And while they were settling him in, changing dressings and such and checking him over, he was still able to tell them he was tired (the nurses can lip read

) and that he needed his foot moved to be more comfortable. And once he was settled in, he pretty much was out of it...but in his place, I doubt I would have been nearly as good.

Will Dad like this place? I am not so sure, between some of his attitudes (a little less tolerant of some things than I am) the looks of the place and such. But it is a good facility, and while an older building, it is better than the nursing home he was in right after his fall last Summer. Indeed, they are going to start working with him today to see about weaning him off the ventilator, and seeing how soon they might be able to change the trach tube/valve to something he could be taught to speak with. Since he said he wanted to be more independent, this would definitely be a move in the right direction. Indeed, while he may get all angry with my brother and I over the fact that we had him go through support he did not want (things went too quick, and were too roller-coastery for us to know what we do now), and that we moved him up here, if he does start that, my response will be to say "Well, at least you are here to chew us out!" and then let him go on until he is really tired and cannot continue. I look forward to being able to talk with him again, as just being able to have him look at me when I tell him how much I love him and having him only be able to barely nod just rips at me, particularly given how Mom was right before she passed.

Oh, and as for numbers...his WBC was down to around 4.6 and his BUN was around 25. Now if we can only get it so that he can start getting nutrition via his PEG, instead of just having things sit there. We get that working, will get off those IVs sooner, and between that and the vent, we may even get him doing stuff without a bunch of equipment having to follow him.

More updates later, but it looks like they will be fewer and farther between, unless he takes a turn for the worse, which looks more and more unlikely!

Good for all of you.............

Well, I have one last update on Dad's condition. One which I knew I would be posting, and I was just wondering when...

Today was the anniversary of his fall a year ago, which resulted in his initial hospital stay which began the accellerated decline over the past year. Over the past few weeks, Dad's condition continued to decline, with his kidneys and liver having gone into almost total failure back around Friday. He also had continued to have problems with continuous infections, where we would treat one infection, another would crop up and be treated, and we would eventually cycle back to where the first infection might once again reoccur. And so, a number of us had been wondering if today would be the day. Indeed it was, as at about 6:30 PM tonight, which is approximately the same time he called to say he had fallen that day one year ago, Dad finally passed away, the result of heart failing due to the buildup of the metabolic toxins.

Dad's actual passing was about as gentle as it could have been, but not necessarily the most graceful. His BP had been slowly dropping the past few days, while his pulse and respiration rate had been slowly climbing. Along with this, his SPO2 levels (blood oxygen saturation) had been dropping from 100% down to the mid 90% area, and off and on today into the 80-90% range, with their increasing the O2 level on the ventilator. But during the last hour or so, his SPO2 level had dropped to below 84%, which triggered a constant alarm, and the doctor OKed the disconnection of that alarm. So my brother Fred and I sat there with him, we played some big-band era and other music we thought Dad would like some of the time, and generally waited. The only things which really took away from his passing being graceful was the fact that he was hooked up to a ventilator (something we both felt Dad never really wanted, but which for religeous reasons, my brother could not authorize being removed), and the fact that Dad had a reflux of bile which required very frequent suctioning of his mouth. But a few minutes before the nursing tech came in to check Dad's BP and pulse, we had wondered how we would know when Dad had finally passed, there being no EKG in the room, and few signs of life from Dad. Not the way I would want to go, but much better than it could have been for Dad (given how simply moving him in the bed caused extreme pain), and at least the lingering is over.

One blessing about all of this past few weeks. Dad was moved up here from Marietta, which is 2.5 hours away on Jun 5, and while he was in a CCU starting Jun 7, and in an acute long-term care facility since something like Jun 23 or 30 (cannot remember which, probably the latter), Dad was here in town, and so I could pop over to visit with him at just about any time I could free up time in the schedule. During this time, I got to see a few smiles (very, very rare for Dad), and I even got to hear him try to say a few words a couple of weeks ago when the RT and I were trying to figure out what he was constantly trying to say.

We are still working out the details on the arrangements, and we will also have some things Fred and I have to take care of otherwise as Dad's executors, but I should be around most of the evenings this week. Current thoughts are for the services to be held mid/late next week, so my out-of-town siblings can drive here from Colorado, and other family members can come in from all over CONUS and possibly even OCONUS. And after that, executor stuff and trying to find old video tapes of Avis's first year, in which both Dad and Mom, God Bless their souls, took great strides in being sure their grandaugher started out with the proper amount of spoiling. Gonna have to blunt these newer memories with older but better memories being refreshed. In the meantime, feel free to try to catch me on IM (that being the best way to catch me at any time... info in my profile, or on my BEL Clan member page linked from my profile), or PM me or even send email. And no doubt, I will also be in killing some bugs.

[edit]Oh, and for those of you wondering, here is a pic of my Dad and I from Oct 15, 2004, about 9 months before the fall which started this whole mess, and around 1y9m from today. It is a big 3Mpixel JPEG...sorry. I will shrink the pic tomorrow to something smaller, and re-edit to point to the lower res image.
[/edit]

Well, that is it for now. And advTHANKaTHANKnce for your thoughts, prayers, and all the rest.

My sincerest condolenses my friend Spacey. I have had much experience with close death in the family (my grandfather (on my birthday), my eldest brother, my father, then my last remaining brother all withing a 6 year span) and it is not an easy thing to deal with. Remember the memories are forever, and he lives within your heart. My im is in my sig if you feel you just need to talk to someone, I listen well. Take it easy my friend.

I wanted to let you know that Subie's and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family through this difficult time. Having lost my father to cancer when I was 11, I can definately sympathize. Although we don't know each other well, please know that if you need anything.... just ask us.

I wish you peace.

Doug,
I'm sorry to hear of your father's passing but at the same time know that he is no longer in pain and in my opinion in a much better place. I know sometimes that isn't what people like to hear, but that's what I believe.
Please IM me if you need to talk, I'm always around. Take care of yourself and your family, you and your family are in my prayers.
Jenn

I'm very sorry to hear about your father. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Sorry buddy. I know it hurts and hurts bad. You and your family have been through a lot over the past year. All of you will be in my thoughts and prayers.